A Burger Soap Opera

The following was inspired by a conversation on Facebook. WARNING: PG-13 FOR ADULT CONTENT AND LANGUAGE

Several years ago, Burger King met a fine little Shorty at a Cookout and quickly began a Sonic whirlwind of courtship.

Their romance blossomed and he finally made that little Shorty his Dairy Queen.

They honeymooned at the Shake Shack on their wedding night. In-N-Out they Fuddruckered all night long and nine months later, along came a Big Boy whom they named McDonald.

Passions waned as the years mounted in their White Castle until Burger King began to stray. First there was Krystal. Then Wendy. Then myriad others until Dairy Queen finally found out what Burger King had been doing.

Dairy Queen was so pissed when she found out that she threw his Fatburger out into the Back Yard. In the divorce settlement, Dairy Queen retained custody of McDonald and the White Castle while Burger King only received the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile.

Lonely, dejected and on the rebound, Dairy Queen soon took up with Five Guys for a purely physical relationship but that soon ended.

Later, she met Jack in the Box and they began to date. So far they've been very happy together and things are starting to look serious.

Burger King, however, moved in with Red Robin over in Burgerville but, to this day, still longs for his Dairy Queen.